Collaborative Hardball

Get Comfortable With Conflict w/ Scilla Elworthy

Episode Summary

Conflict resolution, difficult conversations, and collaborative leadership are essential skills in today's world. In this episode, I am joined by renowned peace and conflict negotiator Dr. Scilla Elworthy to explore how we can approach conflict with greater confidence, compassion, and courage.

Episode Notes

We reflect on how the world has changed since our original 2018 conversation (Ep. 31 of the Peacebuilding Podcast), and consider the intensifying global challenges we face alongside powerful reasons for hope: the growing influence of Indigenous wisdom, deeper understanding of trauma, the rise of renewable energy, and increasing awareness of the systems of patriarchy that shape our lives and institutions.

Drawing on decades of experience negotiating with political leaders, military officials, and communities affected by violence, Scilla shares practical tools for navigating conflict with clarity and presence. She explains why staying grounded through the breath and listening deeply enough to truly reflect what others are saying can transform even the most difficult conversations. A remarkable story from a meeting with a Chinese military general in Beijing reveals the surprising power of empathic listening to shift hostility into genuine dialogue.

We also explore the difference between collaborative and competitive negotiation, why listening for underlying needs is more effective than arguing over positions, how anger can reveal what we care most about, and the essential role women have played in peacebuilding—from Northern Ireland to the Greenham Common peace movement. This conversation is an invitation to see conflict not as something to avoid, but as an opportunity for connection, creativity, and lasting change.